Thursday, October 7, 2010

I've been wrestling with posting this for a few days but I finally decided to do it. I need the peace of mind.

On Tuesday, I came home from class and saw Jill coming out of the duplex holding a saw. She didn't seem to notice me. She marched straight up to one of the two trees in our courtyard area and started sawing at it. I don't know how to describe the way she was moving- she looked desperate, determined, and, well, crazy. She looked absolutely fucking crazy.
I freaked out and grabbed her, yelling "what the hell are you doing, our landlord's gonna kill you!" or something like that, and she threw me off and kept sawing. When I grabbed her arm the second time she actually seemed to recognize me, and dropped the saw on the ground and started crying. I was scared out of my wits. I took her inside and sat her on the couch and she started babbling about a childhood imaginary friend who was back and trying to take her away, how she kept seeing HIM (the way she said it sounded like all capital letters) around the house, how HE was going to kill her...I still don't know what the fuck she was talking about, it was all incoherent. I finally calmed her down a little bit by (and I know this was wrong so don't yell at me) giving her a vicodin left over from getting my wisdom teeth out this summer. She passed out and I used her phone to call her mom. I managed to hold it together okay when she was freaking out, but when I was on the phone with her mom I started shaking and crying. Her mom drove down from Phoenix that night and picked her up. I'm not sure if Jill knows why her mom came down, or if I called, or what, because she was still pretty out of it when her mom arrived. Her mom's going to take her to a therapist in Phoenix and she told me if I see anyone hanging around, call the police.

This is...the most fucked up thing I can imagine happening this year. I've been a complete mess ever since Tuesday, failing tests and fucking up projects. I almost cut my finger off in woodshop today. Christian and Jess stayed over last night, and Kevin and his girlfriend Sarah will probably be over tonight, or I'll be over at their place. I just keep thinking, what happened? There were no warning signs, it was like one day she was fine and then the next, in her room for a week. I really hope she's okay. I don't really know what I believe in but I've been praying every night for her.
Weirdly this does help take some of the stress away. I haven't told the whole story to most people, just Christian, who's Jill's friend too. He's just as worried as me, and doesn't have any new insight...although he did tell me that she didn't go to his house to spend the night on Monday like she told me. So I don't know where she was then either.

Please, please, please let Jill be okay.

1 comment:

  1. Give her best wishes from me. I hope she pulls through OK.