...two posts in one night, and this one is another personal one. I need to talk to someone, and since I can't really talk to any of my friends about this, I'm going to talk to the internet. This really is like a diary.
The party was fun, up until people started leaving. Then it was just Jill and me, around 1 am, cleaning up the kitchen. I was putting away the plates when I noticed hHer frozen, staring out our front window. The blinds were closed but somMe are a little bent, so you can usually see out. She diIdn't look frightened, exactly, but not happy either. I can't describe her expression. She got very pale. I asked what was wrong and she said, "You don't-" and then stopped herself. I think she was going to say "you don't see it?" but instead she shook her head and squinted, and then turned away with a pretty obvious effort and told me she'd seen a cat.
I've never seen anyone react that way to anything before, and I am so, so sure that it wasn't a cat she saw. But I could see out the window too, and there was nothing there. Sure, the trees can be a little creepy on a windy night, but she would have said if she'd been freaked out by the trees. She would have laughed it off.
I don't know what to do. I feel like it would be wrong to tell our friends, because I don't know what's wrong with her, and it might be mental stuff that she doesn't want me to talk about. And I feel guilty as hell writing this on the internet, but why the fuck not, this blog doesn't have any followers so I may as well just use it as a diary, right? That's my excuse anyway. Jill...I don't know. She never showed any signs of anything like this, and I've known her for more than two years. That's long enough to know if someone has nervous breakdowns, right? And she's a psych major, so if there were something really wrong she would go to a therapist, right? I don't even know what this is about, I don't know why this is happening. As far as I know, there's nothing in her life that would be causing this. She talked to her mom on the phone yesterday, so I know her mom's okay, and that's the only family she's really close to.
I guess it's stupid to be theorizing, and it's certainly not helping. The only thing I could think to do was move the liquor left over from the party into a cupboard, where she wouldn't find it easily, and now I can't sleep even though it's almost 3 am, because I keep listening to her moving around in her room. She's definately not asleep, it sounds like she's pacing, and just like last time when I knocked on her door she said she wanted privacy. I'm worried as hell.
What do you do when your friend is having problems and you don't know how to help? What do you do when even your comfort is useless? Because any help would be really appreciated right now.