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I'm sitting in my room right now while Mom and Ted watch tv downstairs. Mom started crying when I walked in the door- I've never been so happy to see her in my whole life- it was horrible to see her cry though. Aunt Caroline came over too, she distracted me with all this funny gossip about her co-workers. I'm so fucking grateful for my family. I spent three hours on the phone with Andrew last night, and he says he'll come visit me the next chance he gets. So I'm sort of happy right now- I feel safe, I feel loved. But there's always going to be that extra thing now, that worm at the core of the apple...


I'm going to be in Flagstaff for the next week. At this point school is the least of my worries. I've got a leave of absence and I might be able to get a medical withdrawal or something...it'll mean pushing back my graduation date yet again, but honestly there's no way I can concentrate on school with all of this happening, and if I can get a withdrawal I'm going to take it.

I'll keep you posted if anything happens. I'm really hoping nothing does.