I just realized something terrible.
I was sleeping just a few minutes ago. I skipped class, bad move, whatever, that's not important...but in any case I was sleeping on my couch and I had a dream about the monster, don't remember it exactly, and I woke up and it hit me so hard I couldn't breath for a second.
If the monster is real, then the blogs are real, and that means that people are dead and I brushed it off as part of a game.
That means that Jay and the people from Just Another Fool are dead, and probably so are Zero and Amelia. As of last night, Fizzbomb might be too. Nessa and Robert Sage had their memories erased, although Robert seems to be getting his back...and I can't figure out if that's a good or bad thing.
And then there's people's families and friends...M's brother and the other people he talks about, Liz from Seeking Truth, Ryan and possibly Jessa of EverymanHYBRID, Milo from TribeTwelve, and Jean's family...that's so many people, and it's not even counting the blogs I haven't read, or the people who don't have blogs at all. It's horrifying.
The one that hurts the most is Zero, though. Because I talked to him, albiet briefly. He commented here. He was kind. This was a few posts after I basically made fun of him for, as I put it, "slightly losing it". And he left a comment saying that he was sorry. So I hope that, against all logic, he survived the solstice and is living somewhere in safety. I hope that the other missing people are safe, or can be found.
I can't fight. I don't know how and I honestly don't think it'd work. I can't offer protection or a safe place to stay or anything more than words on a screen. I wish I could erase the awful things that have happened, but the best I can do is what I always do: watch. I just hope that the act of observing will change the observation enough to make a difference.
Sweetie, don't kick yourself too much. We all brushed it off as a nothing at some point or another. The most we can do is learn from our mistakes.
ReplyDeleteCome on, I agree with Ava, it's not worth the madness. Learn from it, and don't let it stress you out. I mean, really, look at what's happened to some of us.
ReplyDeleteWe all freak out, it's terrifying, but we laugh it off sometimes, smile and know we have friends here. It's a strange friendship, completely over the Internet, but you gotta know, most of us sincerely care.
You have friends here, people to rely on. I've got your back if you need it.
We can talk offline if you want, over an IM or something. If you'd like, I can arrange a person to person meeting. Though that would be complicated. -_-
But really, if you want to chat outside of the blogs, I'm open for that. I can help, even if it's just listening.
I'll be around.
-Darby
Thanks guys. It's good to have people who you can talk to without worrying about infecting...people who understand.
ReplyDelete