Scans

Yeah well, here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for. Rad.
I'm not sure why I don't feel bad about posting these anymore. I guess I've accepted what this blog looks like, and if I keep saying that this isn't real and posting about the way this myth fucks up people who think it IS real, maybe someone will listen...I don't even know. I feel like shit, I'm failing classes, and there's been no word from Jill, not even cryptic messages.

So here's the notebook, gawkers. You can click for the full version.

This is where it starts, about halfway through the notebook, which is for Russian. The first part is her notes, and then I'm not sure if the Russian after "nonliving masculine" is notes or not, but after "step on a crack break your mothers back", it's definately her breakdown.

Beneath the large letters, it says "imscared" very small.



This is the facing page. It's in permanent marker with blue pen scribbled all over it. First appearance of that X symbol too, assuming she drew the stuff on the covers of the notebook later.

By the way, a note about the X symbol on the front and back cover of the notebook: It's drawn over and over again, sometimes with different colored pens and markers. I think she kept retracing it over a long period of time.

Back of page 2. We have first the line "stems and bones and stone walls too" which is a line from the Decemberists' song Yankee Bayonets (we both like the Decemberists, I recognized it right away). The second line gave me a bit of trouble, but after googling it it's apparently a line from Burning For You, by Blue Oyster Cult. 

Then after that, in a different pen, we have "Did I just fall from your arms, down into your hands", which is a line from Out In The Cold, by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. This is kind of weird, as that particular line always used to creep me out when I was younger (my dad's a huge Tom Petty fan and I pretty much grew up with his music).

Then we have this tree with weird roots, which is actually really good drawing for Jill. Not to speak ill of someone who's missing, but she's admitted herself that she's not good at art. Below that is a stick figure girl who kind of has a similar hairstyle to Jill, so I'm going to go with that being a drawing of herself.

There's a blank page before this one, which, after reading the blogs, I can confidently say shows slenderman menacing Jill and some other girl. Again, the drawing of slenderman is pretty good for Jill, he's got shoulders and everything.

I'm not sure but I think the other girl is either me or Jess. We've both got sort of long wavy-ish hair. This also creeped me out. 

The facing page to this is mostly blank, it just has a little nursery rhyme.

"1 2 buckle my shoe

3 4 shut the door 

5 6 arms like sticks

7 8 too late"

and then under that: "no RUSSIAN dammit dont let her read this".

I think Jill was trying to protect me. Fucking awesome. /sarcasm

This is the next page:

Again, slenderman menaces somebody, either me, Jess, or some third girl I haven't thought of yet. Slenderman is not so well drawn here, but I don't think that means anything.

The person at the bottom is probably Jill, and she's in a dark place (probably?) with either a full moon or her buddy slenderman again. God, I shouldn't be making snarky comments, what the fuck.

There's a long stretch of blank pages, and then a bunch of paper crap in the binding, like she tore a bunch of pages out. Then this:

Judging by what I could see on some of the other remnants of torn out pages, she filled at least four pages front and back with the word "slender" written over and over again.

Not like I need to point this out, but this is so fucked up.

This is a few pages after the page of blog URLs, which I didn't scan because it's just links.

Looks like slenderman standing over someone (probably Jill?) who is either floating or walking backwards on her hands...? I'm not sure what's going on in this picture actually.

Second to last page in the book, after a series of blank ones. Slenderman standing over probably Jill again, this time a lot more hunched. She ripped through the paper a couple of times shading his body.

Probably Jill isn't floating in this picture, more like just lying on the ground. She's shaded her body a little bit too, I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean (maybe there's something on top of her?), and she's lying on a shaded area too (either in a pool of something or just her showing that she's on the ground?)

There's some tally marks written below and then scribbled out, but there's 51 all together. Don't know what that means either.

The last page is just this:

And then on the back of that is the letter she wrote to me, which I transcribed here. It's the only thing in pencil in the entire notebook. 

Well there you go, the fucking scans are up. Now you can stare at my friend's craziness all you want.

No, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a bitch, I'm just really upset and helpless...my life seems to be falling apart recently. Obviously.

Who knows, maybe Jill will come home and I can somehow pass all my classes and find an awesome boyfriend and we can all live together in the house I'll buy with my lottery winnings.

Happy fucking thanksgiving.