What happened on thursday

I'm sorry about that last post. This is a lot for me to deal with. I had Jess edit this because she was with me when I got the news and I don't remember parts of it...the comments in purple are hers.
Oh, and the reason I'm writing so calmly is that I'm on mood stabilizers. They're not prescribed, but don't worry, Kevin gave them to me and he's very careful about the dosage- I'm not drinking or doing anything dangerous.


What happened was this: The whole school had thursday off. It's meant as a day of rest between class and finals, which started friday.  It's called Dead Day and that irony just occured to me, oh fuck I'm crying again.

Okay. Get through this.
Jess and I were studying together for our english final when I got a call on my cell from the police. (It was about 2:30 or a little before) They told me Jill's body had been found in Texas, and could I please come down to the station. I remember dropping the phone and going over to the couch, but beyond that I don't remember much until we got to the station.

Ali dropped the phone on the ground and I grabbed it. The police officer on the line asked if everything was ok and I said yes, Ali was on the couch and she was gritting her teeth really weirdly, I guess she was in shock. Anyway I asked what was wrong and the officer told me what he told her, and I said okay and hung up. It sort of didn't hit me until much later, but Ali wants' this told in order, so let's see...I went over to her and gave her a hug. She was sort of acting like a robot but she gave me her car keys and I drove us both to the police station. I was in the waiting room while they talked to her.

The police told me Jill's mom had gotten a bouquet of flowers with a typed note that morning, which said "Claim Her" and then, beneath that, the name of a small town in Texas (they didn't tell me the name of the town). Apparently the police in Tempe talked to the local Texas police and they conducted a search, and found Jill's body in the woods. I'm a little hazy on this, and I really wish Jess had been there to remember for me, but I think I demanded to know how she died. The police officer was pretty reluctant to tell me, but he did in the end.
Jill was found suspended in the branches of a tree, eviscerated with her organs rearranged. At this point I asked if her fingers were broken. Again, he didn't want to say anything, but he did end up admitting that they were. And that was about when I lost track entirely of what I was doing. (Ali was in there for about two hours and I couldn't hear anything. at one point they brought in water for her and I saw her sitting up straight through the open door. She looked really upset obviously.)

Finally they let me go...I think they asked about all the stuff I'd told them about before, and then about who'd have Jill's mom's adress. I don't remember a lot of it. I guess they got what they wanted, though, because they let me go home and told me I should call right away if I saw anything suspicious. Jess drove me home, and halfway through the drive she pulled over into a neighborhood and started crying, which set me off too, so we just sat there in the car and hugged each other and cried for a while (that was the first time in this whole thing that either of us cried, and Ali seemed a lot more normal afterwards).

Jess spent the night, of course, and while she was making dinner I made that post. I was...no, I still am very angry. I should have done more. I don't know how, but I should have done more. I keep going over and over the past few months, trying to find a point where one descision could have saved her.
The rest of the week was a loss for me. I thought I saw her fucking delusion one time. I thought I saw a blank white face watching me from the bathroom window, but when I looked out again it was just this hanging lampshade she'd hung outside when we moved in. (I heard Ali scream from the bathroom and then laugh a little bit and tell me everything was ok, and please take that lamp down.)
Jess spent the rest of the week at my place, and so did Christian. Kevin stopped by for a little bit but of course Sarah wanted him home so....I'm not going to say what I think about that, no point in burning bridges. But we didn't do anything that whole time, not studying or anything. At one point I called Mrs. Wu-Kliene and asked if there was anything we could do, and she told us the funeral was planned for the 18th, which is the first official day of winter break, and it'll be in Tempe. She sounded weird on the phone, but of course that's only to be expected...we said we'd go.
I emailed my professors about the exams, explaining what happened, and I'm getting slack from most of them, so right now I'm packing to go home to Flagstaff and make up the exams when I get back to school. Jess is going home after the funeral (she lives in Colorado) and I'll drive down to Tempe for it I guess...I have to find something nice to wear.


I feel like my whole body is full of novocaine.

(Jess again- Something Ali didn't talk about because she hates thinking about it is that the killer hasn't been caught yet. The police think it was either the woman on the phone or an accomplice, but either way the woman on the phone is their best lead and they're trying to catch her. I want the killer to get electrocuted for what they did. They deserve to fucking die screaming. Jill Kleine was one of the nicest most intelligent people I ever knew and to take advantage of her when she was having a breakdown and then fucking kill her like that is sick and evil. She might have been hallucinating about the monster guy she thought was after her but whoever killed her really is a monster.


One last thing: I know Ali said she doesn't have an audience but I see she has some followers...if you're there, let her know. She needs to know people care right now, especially when she gets off the meds.)