I just checked the blog and found a couple of comments that I want to talk about.
K-OS, thank you for your kind words...I'm not usually very religious, but I think this experience is making me turn back to God in a way. I miss Jill so, so much, but I do sometimes feel like she's here, like she hasn't abandoned me. I hope her mom feels the same way.
S, thank you too. If you manage to translate any more of the Russian, could you let me know? At this point I think it's mostly just nonsense about her delusion, but...I don't know. Knowledge is power, I suppose. I'm glad you were able to give me those words...oh, fuck, I'm crying again. God dammit. Okay.
And thanks for attributing that quote for me.
If I had ever had the inclination to hate the people who played this game, to blame them...I would've been proven wrong. Everyone who's talked to me has been a good person. You've offered comfort, you've offered information, and one of you even offered to go to Texas yourself. I just want to thank everyone for talking to me, for helping a stranger find out what happened to another stranger...it's unexpected and immeasurably kind.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Dad, Laurie, and Hannah decided to spend it with us instead of with Laurie's family, so it's all of us together, opening gifts and eating tamales (another weird tradition). I've been spending a lot of time upstairs in my room, but tomorrow I'm determined to stay downstairs with everyone. Tomorrow of all days should be happy. Tomorrow of all days should be the one where I stop isolating myself and start really appreciating all of the kindness people have shown me, on the internet or in real life.
I just wish Jill could see it too.