Wednesday, September 29, 2010


This isn't art/design related, sorry guys. I want to organize my thoughts, and I guess this is the best forum for it. I probably wouldn't do this if I had any followers, but right now it's public enough for me to not feel weird posting, and private enough to feel safe.

God, I sound stupid and overdramatic.

So remember last entry when I talked about Jill being in her room all the time? I finally saw her in the main room this morning and asked if she was okay, and she laughed kind of oddly and told me she was fine, just stressed about a school project. I didn't think anything more about it until I happened to see a mutual friend of ours, Christian, on campus, and he mentioned that he hadn't seen her in the class they share in a while. Okay, fine, she's skipping one of her classes to work on a project for another. I totally understand, I've been there.
Except I obviously haven't, because when I came home this afternoon she was back in her room and I could hear her crying, so I knocked on the door and she told me to go away. Later she came out and apologized, but when I asked what her project was she said she'd rather not talk about it. And I've just come from the kitchen, where a full bottle of vodka is suspiciously missing from the freezer.

What the hell do I do? I know something's really upsetting her. Usually she's so much more collected than I am, and I'm really worried about her. If she doesn't want to talk to me about whatever it is, that's fine, but she hasn't left the house that I know of in almost a week, and I haven't heard her call anyone either. I wish I could tell her that she needs to talk to someone, but if I do, I feel like she'll get even more secretive because I know something's wrong. I hope she'll be better soon, because I don't like this. It's scary. She could fail her classes, or hurt herself, or drink way, way too much. Come on, Jill, snap out of it.

In any case, I hope she at least comes out into the living room. Concerns for her wellbeing aside, I'm starting to not like being alone in the house- I think I also mentioned in the last entry that I've been having computer problems, and now the other electronics are being weird too. The lights keep flickering a little bit, just enough to totally creep me out. I'm going to ask my landlord about it tomorrow, because it's unnerving as hell and it gives me a headache.

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