Hi. I feel weird doing this. My name is Jess. I don't know why Ali wanted me to do this but I guess I'll honor it even if I don't really get it.
She gave me the password to an empty blog. I mean, I remember back when Jill died last year she wanted me to help her write an entry but I don't even see that, and I could've sworn there was some other stuff too. She must have deleted it or something. I don't know why she wanted me to post, though...Anyway I guess I should start at the beginning...
My friend Ali Brent was found dead on the 26th of April, next to a metal cage suspended on a pole in an abandoned amusement park we once explored together. The police had recieved a call from someone at the scene. They said that the caller was male, younger, and that there had been gunshots in the background. They hadn't been able to trace the call, but the guy had given a street name, and when they got there they found Ali. She had been stabbed to death and then cut open, the same way as our friend Jill was found.
Ali was an amazing person. She didn't care that I was some dumbass stoner chick who read too many comics. She loved people for who they were. She was a really great artist and writer, and she was one of the most genuinely nice people I've ever known.
The woman who killed her had also killed two of our other friends, Jill and Kevin. It's hard to imagine these things happening in real life. It sounds like a slasher movie or something like that, but it happened. Even harder to believe is that the woman, whose name was Harriett McCullough, thought she was a servant of god, and when the police found her at the scene of the crime they said she was sitting under the cage talking to no one about how god had abandoned her. She'd been shot in both of her knees. The gun was never found, but the police assume it belonged to the young man. They couldn't match the ballistics or anything. You know what, though? Whoever that guy was that shot her, I like him. I hope he doesn't get caught. Harriet McCullough took three of my friends from me. She deserved worse and she ended up getting it.
She killed herself in her jail cell two weeks ago, stole some scissors from god knows where and jabbed out her eyes. No one knows where the scissors came from. She was going to death row anyway.
Last monday I got a call from Ali's cousin Andrew. This poor kid. He was in a bad car accident before Ali died, and he was in a coma when it happened. He comes out of it to find that his cousin, who was like his sister, was dead, and on top of that his head's still not totally ok. He's got vision problems now- says it's like he sees shadows on the edge of everything.
Since Ali's death we've been talking a lot, trying to help each other deal. There are so many mysteries about the whole thing- why was Ali out there? Who was the caller, and how did he know her? Why did her killer target her and Jill and Kevin? It's like Ali had this whole life that none of us knew about, and I still can't believe she hid it so well. We don't know why any of this happened, or what it means, and the hardest part is that we'll probably never know.
Anyway like I said last week Andrew called and said he'd been going through Ali's stuff and found some books with my name written in them, and he was sending them in the mail to my house in Colorado. I got the package today. She'd borrowed a Matt Ruff book and a collection of short stories by Nicola Barker, way back in January. It hurt to see them. While I was putting the books away a paper fell out of one of them, with Ali's handwriting on it, although it's really weird and kind of strained, like she was forcing herself to write. Here's what it says:
Jess-
Tell them what happened to me.
And then the adress of this blog, and her username and password. So that's what I'm doing now.
I went to the abandoned amusement park with Ali about a month before she died. Her car had died, so I gave her a ride so she could get reference photos for a summer art class. I wish I could find the video she took. I don't really have that many videos of her, and barely any of Jill and Kevin, and I'm scared I'm going to forget the way they sound. I still have this stupid booklet we found while we were looking around, and it's one of the most important things I own now.
I went back a few days ago, after getting Andrew's call.
After they found her, there was a big move to get the place torn down, but I guess nothing ever gets done in Arizona because it's all still standing. Well, I guess not all. When we went there together in March, there were these lightning conducters all around the area, and when I went back they were all smashed. Ceramic all over the place, like they exploded or something. But the cages on the poles were still there, and so were the tires and even the police tape from the end of April. I could even tell which cage was the one where Ali's body was found. It was hanging at a weird angle, like someone had smashed it near the base, and...well, there was still a stain on the metal. I left flowers at the base. I wish there was something more I could do.
I'm still not sure what this blog meant to her, but I hope I did the right thing posting. I'm going to leave this up and probably never look at it again. I hope people find this and know what a great person the world lost.
Ali, I miss you so much. Kevin, Jill, I miss you too. You were some of the best friends I ever had, and I'm never going to forget you. You guys know I don't believe in god, but if there is something out there, I hope you guys are together. I'll catch up with you later. Rest in peace.
love, Jess.
